Graffiti has been elevated to new levels of hipness lately thanks to trailblazers like Jonah “*picture of a dick*-tation” Takalua
and the opening credits of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (I’m all about
current references). If you happened to grow out of writing your name on
other people’s stuff when you turned 10, worry not, there is a way to
get in on the action. Moss graffiti gives your inner vandal a chance to
stick it to the man, except prettily, legally and without being in the
least bit subversive. So really, we’re just sticking it to the wall. And
that’s good enough for me, I don’t want to be sent to live with my
wealthy uncle in Bel Air. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Here’s what
you need to know.
IT IS EASY TO MAKE
Really,
really easy. The gist of it is; mix clumps of moss with buttermilk,
live yoghurt or beer, blend with some water and paint directly onto the
wall. Wirral Wildlife have created this handy graphic (below, click to
expand) that covers it nicely, however they do use the term “moss
milkshake”, officially my least favourite flavour.
IT’S BETTER THAN SPRAY PAINT GRAFFITI
Not
just better looking, better for the environment. Apparently spray paint
isn’t that common a substance in nature. Moss, however, is.
IT CAN HELP YOU PRETEND THAT YOU’RE DEEP
Wondering
how to let everyone know you’ve read Kurt Vonnegut or listen to The
Smiths? So many quotes you need to share, so little wall/tattoo space
left? Moss graffiti is your man. A giant stencil would definitely come
in handy, as would someone else willing to do it for you. I’m getting
“Literature should not disappear up it’s own asshole” mossed onto my
outhouse.
YOU CAN START SLOWLY
An
entire quote may seem a little excessive so how about a single word?
Certainly the execution will be easier, but good luck picking out just
one word. I’d go for “harrumph” because that’s the best one. Damn,
“grow” is waaay better isn’t it?
YOU CAN MAKE PRETTY SHAPES
Not
so good with words and such? Skip the calligraphy and moss up some
shapes instead. Maintenance-wise you’ll probably be doing yourself a
favour.
OR IMPOSSIBLY ORNATE DESIGNS
Because your moss milkshake deserves nothing less then precise, intricate and impeccably executed graffiti.
IT WILL MAKE YOUR LIVING ROOM MORE LIVING-Y
Forget your grass walls, moss graffiti is so much more stylish, striking and, em, spongy. This one was designed by Anna Garforth
for the Russian Club in England and represents Mother Earth. Mine is
going to represent a square and a horse because they’re the only two
things I can draw.